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“A Game of Thrones – Brand and Catelyn”

Bran is still falling. He’s remembering Maester Luwin’s lesson about what happens to clay when it’s thrown out of a window and thinking that what happens to flesh probably is probably similar enough. A voice is telling him to take the third option and fly. I would say that hearing voices in your head is a bad sign, but right now the inside of his head is all Bran has right now, so I’ll let him have this one without crying “loony bin.”

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“A Game of Thrones – Sansa and Eddard”

Sansa’s first ever point-of-view chapter. You know what, I changed my mind, give me Catelyn back. I’ll take an adult asshole over an adolescent girl any day. Sansa is nobody’s favourite Stark for a reason, at least this early on in the series.

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“A Game of Thrones – Catelyn”

I’d rather go camping with Robert than deal with Catelyn when she’s being both an asshole and a grieving mother. Unlike Jon, I’m not too proud to give into denial and pretend Catelyn’s chapters don’t exist. That would, alas, make me a very bad blogger and I would feel guilty, and it would all be Catelyn’s fault!

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“A Game of Thrones – Tyrion”

While the king’s entourage noisily lumbers its way south, the much smaller “dwarves and bastards” party makes its way north. According to Tyrion, it’s a very long and hard way, but as a Canadian, I scoff at his perception of the travel conditions. There’s an actual road, and stone bridges, and occasional villages, so how remote could it be? Tyrion’s just grumpy because the forest of howling wolves isn’t stocked with prostitutes and he’s not used to such a long dry spell.

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“A Game of Thrones – Eddard”

You know what it’s like when you hate camping but have to go anyway? There’s always the one guy who’s all, “Get up! Let’s go greet the sun and pee in the bushes and be one with nature!” And all you want to do is curl up in your sleeping bag and pretend you’re in your bed and there’s running water and electricity for your laptop within your reach. The royal court, now including some Starks, is trekking back south and Robert Baratheon is that nature-loving asshole. He wants Ned to get up and go pre-dawn riding with him.