[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjnmxwEHS2s]
Mailbag Mondays is a weekly feature of Made of Fail Productions. Send in your questions, comments, and thoughts to made_of_fail@yahoo.com! Kevin will be your host this week.
Given the first-time nature of this column, we don’t have that many pieces of mail to respond to this week. So instead, watch my sister totally rock her high school V-Show. (She’s seventeen.)
Rowan Bristol asks:
The last time I was on your show, Dayna touched me and now I have a rash somewhere uncomfortable. What should I do?
Is it true that Adam is made of delicious entrails?
How many ghost peppers does it take to kill Kevin?
Wear gloves next time, yes, and 42, respectively. Next!
Alexander writes:
Hello Made of Fail,
I’m a long time listener and first time writer. I came across your podcast through the Atop the Fourth Wall website around a year ago and have been listening ever since. I’m a fan not only of the topics you discuss and the way you discuss them but also for your genuine affection for each other which is rare in most podcasts. I’m a little behind in my listening and just caught up with your episode about geek dating. I have a similar, yet reversed problem. I have a very active social life and am happily married with a daughter on the way but online and amongst the geek community I can’t seem to get anyone to talk to me about similar interests of which I share many from comics to gaming. I assume that some geeks can get a little tribal and not let others in to their circles/fandoms but is there a way to meet people online with who I can geek out with? And by geek out with I don’t mean get yelled at by someone about which Doctor is the best. I would also like to see you guys do an episode on the two worlds of regular life/day jobs and being a geek and how those two are balanced by yourselves and others especially as we get older and responsibilities encroach on our nice safe worlds of Mountain Dew and Batmen and whatnot. On that note I would just like to say thanks for the episodes keep up the great work!
That’s a great point, and one that doesn’t get mentioned nearly as much as the reverse. It’s certainly true that geeks can be very self-exclusive, and various circles and fandoms can have varying amounts of acceptance to new members or outsiders.
That said, the advice I personally would give it just to take a look at what you like and check around. Many communities have LiveJournal, Tumblr, or websites with active comments sections or forums, and often the best way to insert yourself into these places is to join up, lurk a bit to get a feel for the community, and then start contributing yourself. Many forums have “New Member” threads, and LiveJournal communities in particular tend to be open season in terms of comments. Stick with it, let people get to know you, and you’ll be in the circles in no time.
This is, of course, colored by my own personal experiences. I’m certain our readers and listeners have other advice – let’s see what you have to say in the comments!
For Alexander there:
Definitely lurk around the forums for a bit. It sounds silly, but you get to know who’s who before you start posting. Some people spend ALL their time on the forums, some people are more popular than others. It can be like a clique, but it helps to know who not to piss off.
As an Aussie, I found it easier shouting from the rooftops that I was Aussie, and finding people from the right timezone to talk to on Twitter. It was much easier than posting and waiting 6 hours for the Americans to wake up. Find people who live sort of near you, then you have that connection. :)
You didn’t print MY answer to Ro?
Kevin, Kevin, Kevin. You’re fired. XD
Sure I am. Let me just give you maintenance duties for all the Made of Fail Productions sites, pages, RSS feeds, update services…
You’re un-fired.
Now bring me pictures of Spider-Man!
MEANWHILE IN 2016 THIS ANSWER GOT A WHOLE LOT LESS FUNNY
Alexander:
I think there is, or at least used to be, a general feeling that as one “grows up” (gets a job, has kids), video games and other geek hobbies are supposed to naturally fall by the wayside. I think, or hope at least, this attitude will disappear as more and more of the baby-boomers’ kids and grandkids become parents and grandparents in turn, since these generations grew up playing video games.
Me, I will take a vacation day or two off a year for video game release days. And why not? I’m entitled to those vacation days and no, there isn’t a law that says I can’t spend them on my hobbies.
I don’t have kids myself, but my brother, who inducted me into geek-dom, does and it’s never stopped him. When I was little, I would sit by his side and watch him play Diablo and Prince of Persia, and some years later, it was his son doing that. I’m happy to see my now teenaged nephew enjoy the games and books that his dad and I do. If I ever have a kid of my own, I see nothing wrong with “quality time with a child” being “watch mommy fireball the ultimate evil to death and get phat lootz.”
TL;DR: after the bills are paid, buy a new PS3 release, and then plop the kid down on the couch with you and enjoy yourselves.
Alexander:
… Do you feel popular now with all these people giving you advice? :)
But anyway, to add my two cents to it, making friends on the internet is the same as making friends anywhere else. It just takes time. It seems all intimidating at first, but it’s just because you don’t know anyone yet and you don’t know all the inside jokes. So just be patient and speak to a few people and keep going to wherever it is and eventually you’ll fit in. Speaking from personal experience, for me it’s always hard to make new friends because I have friends I’ve had for years and with them it’s easy and simple ’cause we already know each other so well and then it feels awkward with new people because it feels like it should be easier. Like I should fit in faster. Like I should be getting all the jokes.
The point of all my rambling is that like anything else, it just takes time and patience.
I’ve never bought the idea that one must lose one’s geekdom as they get older. One of my best friends is engaged, owns a house, is in his late thirties, and he’s still got a man-cave full of statues, action figures, tech, posters, movies, and videogames. I similarly am pretty much surrounded in my place by all things comics, art, horror, and scifi, and I see no need to be apologetic about it whatsoever. I love the things I love, and I work damn hard for them.
Geekdom can be a funny thing…often populated by people who feel like outsiders, but sometimes quick to turn on outsiders themselves. I’m sure you could get into something deep and psychological there, but the plain, simple truth is that no walk of life, even that of your fellow nerds, is ever free of it’s own share of assholes. You kind of have to deal with that as it comes, as you would anywhere else. Ideally, the rewards of doing so will outweigh the risks.
Well I already feel 10 times more welcome than before. Thanks guys for printing the letter and for all the comments it’s received. I don’t think I could ever lose any of my geeky likes no matter how old I get as they are a part of who I am. As for finding fellow geeks online I think it will get easier over time, a lot of us went through very hard times in our formative years so it’s understandable why we would be a little “clannish” for lack of a better word but the world is becoming more accepting and so too shall we. Still, I’m very grateful that there are podcasts like this one that keep a fire burning for geeks to be drawn too and find welcoming company.