written by Dayna Abel
SPOILER WARNINGS ARE IN EFFECT
ME, WATCHING THIS EPISODE: Okay, so turn off the wi-fi. Set off an EMP. Kill the electricity. JUST UNPLUG THE FUCKING SERVERS OH MY GOD PEOPLE
There is literally nothing in this episode that could not have been solved by just unplugging shit. The year of our lord two thousand and twenty and somehow every single character (and everyone behind the scenes) has forgotten that computers need electricity to live, and also that we just call it “the internet” now instead of “the world wide web” because it’s not 1997 and we don’t live in a RiffTrax short.
ALSO AS LONG AS I’M AT IT YOU DON’T DOWNLOAD A FILE *TO* SOMETHING YOU DOWNLOAD *FROM* AN EXTERNAL SOURCE, THE WORD YOU ARE LOOKING FOR IS “UPLOAD”
Okay, I’m fine, I’m breathing, a whole episode happened that I should talk about.
Winn is still in town, hanging out at a bar with Kara, Alex, and J’onn before going back to the future. William Day shows up after Kara invited him to join them. The Super Friends are all “you liiiiiiiike him, you want to kiiiisssssss him” because god forbid we go one season without a Compulsory Heterosexual Love Interest.
I am immediately mollified as Kara and William get onstage for a karaoke rendition of the greatest song ever written, while my beloved George screams eternally in the background. Afterwards, William asks Kara out on a date, only to be interrupted by a DEO emergency that Winn passes off as Alex and Kara’s “sick grandmother.”
Turns out that Evil Winn’s consciousness (snuck into the DEO via seized laptop, as we saw in last episode’s cliffhanger) has taken over the DEO’s intranet and threatens to kill everyone inside (and within a three-mile radius outside, because the DEO stores their servers ON TOP OF THEIR HIGHLY EXPLOSIVE POWER CORE ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME) unless they take down the firewall preventing him from gaining access to the internet.
And now you all understand where I’m coming from with my opening.
Evil Winn proves his point by activating all the dangerous tech and artillery in the DEO, including a pair of Lex Luthor’s “Lexosuits,” which is the most fucking extra name that Lex could have dubbed them with. In order to distract the Lexosuits, Brainy rips open his shirt to flash the lights on his Legion outfit, panders to me completely by charging in with a battle cry of “LEEEEEEROOOOOYYY JENNNNKINNNSS!”, and Matrix-flipping and dodging lasers while Alex and Kara destroy the suits.
In the server room, Winn uploads his consciousness to the DEO’s network to enable a kill code for Evil Winn’s program, which was built from his father’s code. Somehow, this means that Toyman Sr.’s consciousness is also locked within this program, locked in a cell and pleading with Winn to free him so he can help defeat Evil Winn. Winn isn’t buying it one bit, and Evil Winn has the upper hand for a moment before Toyman tells Winn how to fight in cyberspace. Taking a leap of faith, Winn frees his father, who holds Evil Winn down while Winn executes the kill code, destroying both his villainous double and the last remnant of his father. He’s shocked that his father actually helped him, and decides to change his Legion call sign from “Computer Lad” to “Toyman” in an effort to redeem the name.
Meanwhile, everybody is manipulating everybody else – Lex has Brainy steal Toyman’s digital immortality code, Lena tries to wheedle Andrea into letting her help with the Obsidian Platinum tech, and Gemma from Leviathan is pulling everyone’s strings behind the scenes. Alex catches Brainy in the act, but to his credit, he fesses up and tells the team most of what’s going on with Lex. He keeps some aspects of the truth from both Lex and his friends, but just enough to make sure everything and everyone is protected. It’s a fine line he’s walking, but Leviathan’s presence could disrupt everything, and I’m nervous about whatever their ultimate aim is.
Kara, for her part, is tired of lies and half-truths and turns down the date with William, claiming that she doesn’t feel that way about him. He’s disappointed but understanding, and Kara goes home to talk with Alex about how it all goes back to keeping her secret from Lena. She wishes she could go back and change everything…and right on cue, Mr. Mxyzptlk shows up at the door.
At least next week is the 100th episode and shouldn’t have anything that will make me angrily overreact, right? Right?
Supergirl airs Sunday nights at 9 Eastern/8 Central on the CW. Dayna can be found on Twitter @queenanthai.