written by Kate Danvers
SPOILER WARNINGS ARE IN EFFECT
Remember when The Flash was this fun? Remember when Supergirl was this fun? Remember when Arrow…
…remember that one time Oliver almost smiled?
When your girlfriend dumps you, your former allies are hunting you, and you’re harboring a fugitive, there’s only one thing to do…ROAD TRIP!!
A press conference in 1973 reveals an uncharacteristically truthful Richard Nixon revealing that he is, in fact, a crook. Come on, a Republican president telling the truth? That’s got to be some kind of magical intervention. Unfortunately, Nixon being unable to lie messed up peace talks and trade agreements because I guess when world leaders can’t bullshit to each other, everything falls apart. Also All the President’s Men doesn’t get released and therefore never jump-starts Robert Redford’s career. That’s got Mick’s attention. Sara brushes off Ray and Charlie’s concerns about things being so chaotic with the Bureau right now.
At the Time Bureau, Ava has taken a leave of absence and Hank is the new interim director. Nate and Zari are still posing as a couple, but Zari is also pretending to be an agent, so I guess the Time Bureau has no rules about fraternization? Hank is going after the Legends and offers to let the pair sit this one out because of their friends, but the two fake dedication. Zari recruits Gary to do a little digging while they keep Hank busy.
Mick gets Mona settled on the ship, including instructing her not to push the red button on the toilet. Mona still hasn’t told Sara about her werewolf abilities. Sara leaves Mick and Constantine to look after Mona and says to make sure she doesn’t press the red button. Seriously, what does it do? Who found out about it first? This sounds like there’s a cautionary tale involved.
The ground team kidnaps Nixon from the hospital and leaves Zari in his place since she’s got a better handle on her shapeshifting. Before they can get back, the Bureau storms the Waverider and captures it. Constantine, Mick, and Mona manage to meet up with the others and make their getaway in “The Getaway”, which is emblazoned across an RV parked outside the hospital.
CONSTANTINE: “That’s a bit on the nose, no?”
SARA: “We left subtlety back in Mexico.”
No, you left subtlety back in the Old West in a giant crater full of blue fur and stuffing.
And of course “Free Ride” is playing.
Mona is concerned about being in a confined space, Sara is concerned about fixing Nixon and getting him to Florida, Ray is playing Punch Buggy, and…oh, they forgot Charlie. Constantine weaves some magic and Nixon coughs up a cockroach. It’s an “agent of Ma’at”, the Egyptian goddess of truth. The little bug feeds off of lies, and the president was great for that, so why did it show up in 1973 and not 2019? Guess it doesn’t like to overeat. And I don’t know if parasites can feed off of other parasites.
Due to some hijinks, they’re pulled over by the highway patrol, which puts them on the Bureau’s radar. Hank and Nate chase after them in the commandeered patrol car, which I get…but why did they have to waste time putting on the uniforms? The Legends evade them with some clever magic from Constantine and, while they’re in hiding, Zari sends a message over the radio impersonating a DJ. Zari missed her calling as a DJ because that voice…wow. The Legends have to lay low and try not to feed the bug – so no lying. Sara puts another tranquilizer in Nixon just to be safe.
In over his head, Gary recruits Nora Darhk for help. Together they hack Hank’s email and find that he’s been using time travel to acquire things like property and dwarf star alloy. They’re almost caught by Neron/Desmond, who seriously disturbs Nora. Neron then tips off Hank that someone was hacking his account and Hank’s little bonding time with Nate is over.
There’s a funny bit where the roach gets free and starts making everyone in the RV tell the truth. Ray feels overwhelming dread since Constantine came onboard, doesn’t think Han shot first, used a strategy guide to beat Ocarina of Time’s Water Temple, and he really likes gluten. Sara’s confession is less funny. She’s not handling the breakup well, thinks Ava was her one shot at a normal life, is really not happy about losing her ship, and she blames Mona for everything. Mona takes off on a bicycle with Sara and Constantine chasing after her.
Mona runs into some Bureau agents and fursplodes in the middle of a diner. Sara and Constantine get thrown around trying to stop her, but Sara finally talks her down in a touching scene of friendship that makes me feel like I’m watching The Flash for a minute.
Hank intercepts the RV and arrests Mick and Ray, but then Nixon steps out and the cockroach is freed. It jumps into Nate, who confesses to keeping secrets from his dad, but then goes a step further and admits he likes working at the Bureau with Hank and just wishes they could be closer. Hank says that everything he’s doing he’s doing for Nate and that it’s tearing him up that Nate is hurt by it. The bug doesn’t go to Hank, which means that he’s telling the truth. Given the ultimatum of letting the Legends go or arresting Nate along with them, Hank lets them go. The Legends reunite and finally remember to go back for Charlie.
Hank meets with Neron at the Bureau and ends whatever deal he had with him regarding Project Hades. Neron responds by killing Hank, which Nora senses from her cell. She breaks out to stop him, but it’s too late. Neron is gone and Hank is dead. AND OF COURSE NATE WALKS IN RIGHT AT THAT MOMENT. Suspected of the murder, Nora flees.
Well, that happened. I’m kind of surprised they killed off Hank at all, especially so soon. I really liked the confession scenes, whether influenced by the bug or not. Sara finally talking Mona down by empathizing with her and befriending her is so welcome after several episodes of Mona being treated badly or like a joke. Nate’s bonding moments with his dad were good too, which probably should have clued me in that Hank was done for. A redemption this soon means he’s either going to be mind-controlled, corrupted, kidnapped, or killed. Maybe with the magical nature of his death it won’t be a permanent one?
There are still a lot of unanswered questions. First, is that Neron? Looking like the guy he dragged to Hell and being so evil that he gives Nora Darhk a migraine are pretty big indicators, so I’m going to go with yes. Secondly, who did Hank think Neron was? I don’t think he would have been knowingly working with a demon. What was Hank’s end goal? What was he using dwarf star alloy for? Why was he experimenting on magical creatures instead of just setting them loose? There are six episodes left, so there’s still plenty of story left to tell.
Next time: Hank’s ghost is back to slap some séance into everyone…oh, they already made a séance/sense pun in the title. Ugh.
Legends Of Tomorrow airs Mondays on the CW at 9 ET/8 CT. Kate can be reached on Twitter @WearyKatie.